Cooperative Coparenting is the Ideal, But it Isn’t for Everyone
Perhaps you have heard of the four quadrants of management. Every manager is either high or low responsibility and either high or low control. The worst bosses are low responsibility and high control. They give minimal instructions and then just let the employees figure out what is going on; if things go well, the boss takes credit for everyone’s hard work, and if they do not, he loses his temper.
Which kind of boss you end up with is a roll of the dice. Likewise, what kind of co-parenting relationship you have with your former spouse depends in part on your ex’s personality, but it also depends on you. Drafting a parenting plan can help you raise your children peacefully with your ex-spouse. Of course, you should be realistic when setting the provisions of your parenting plan; the ideal parenting plan for co-parents who get along reasonably well will not look the same as the parenting plan for exes who antagonize each other at every turn. For help establishing a parenting plan that will allow your children a peaceful childhood, contact a California family law attorney.
The Three Styles of Co-parenting
The Newsweek website recently published an article about the three main styles of parenting. Which one best describes your co-parenting relationship depends on your personality, that of your ex, and the circumstances of your co-parenting relationship.
In a perfect world, all divorced parents and former couples who have a child together could engage in cooperative co-parenting. In this kind of co-parenting relationship, both parents honor the commitments set out in the parenting plan. Therefore, if one parent is unable to keep to a scheduled time for dropping off or picking up the children, for example, he or she lets his or her ex know in advance, and the ex is usually accommodating. The parents might not see each other as friends, and they may still feel hurt about the breakup and jealous about an ex’s new partner, but in the co-parents’ interactions with each other, they are able to maintain KIND (kid-centered, informative, nice, and direct) communication. For these parents, a parenting plan where they make decisions jointly is appropriate.
Parallel parenting is the appropriate solution for parents who have a high-conflict relationship. In other words, you accept that you and your ex cannot get along, and you write your parenting plan accordingly. Each parent exercises his or her parenting time according to the parenting plan and stays out of the other parent’s business. The parents communicate through a co-parenting app such as Our Family Wizard or else through their lawyers.
The worst-case scenario is conflicted co-parenting. The parents freely ignore the parenting plan. They openly antagonize each other, and they put their children in the middle of their conflicts.
Contact SNR Law Group About Co-Parenting After Divorce
A family law attorney can help you draft a parenting plan that reflects your reality. Contact SNR Law Group in Tustin, California, to discuss your case.
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